I am a person who wants to challenge herself. I want to reach starts from the sky and I dream big. I dream the biggest things there is and very often I’m in that situation that I have achieved my big dreams or goals. Soon after that, I realize that I cannot do it. I back up. I find myself panicking and stressing about the situation I’m into. It becomes overwhelming. I have two sides that are not connecting. I have this brave and “I can do it” -attitude and the other side of me is this very shy and stressed person who just wants to sit still and wait that someone is going to pick up and take safely home.
So not a long time ago I was in this situation again. I had to face my fears and firm up. I asked for a promotion for my job and I got it. I’m a flight attendant and I have been doing it for over five years now and I’ve enjoyed it a lot. This year I reached the point that I want to have more challenges for my career and the only opportunity was to become chief of the cabin (or a purser). We need one year's experience before we can apply to become a chief and earlier in my career I haven’t had that opportunity since I’ve been twice on maternity leave. So I was mentally ready for that. Being a mom is somehow being a chief at home, right moms? 😉 So I have practiced being a boss for my kids (and for my husband sometimes), organizing the daily routines, dinners, clothes, timetables, you name it. Being a boss is not something that is natural for me, I have had to practice it at home. And I’m so glad that I have the best teachers for that, my daughters.
When I decided to apply a chief I started practicing it mentally. I had ideas about what kind of chief I want to be and went through the chiefs I have had earlier and what things I want to take from the good ones and also the bad examples too which kind I definitely don’t want to be. When I said it out loud to my colleagues at work that I will become a chief they were thrilled and said that I will be a really good chief and I believed them. I felt so good.
I had good training and I was so ready to start my new position and I got really good feedback from my trainer too. I felt excited. But when the day came that I needed to be on my own I got cold feet. I felt that I can’t do it. I started panicking, and I was so nervous that I didn’t sleep at all the night before my shift. It was terrible. Somehow I went through that working day and my colleague said to me that she felt that I was a natural chief and if I didn’t tell her that it was my first shift as chief, she wouldn’t know because I did so good. I was relieved and felt good. But the next night I couldn’t sleep either I was so nervous. I wasn’t any more prepared for the day’s shift and it was even more challenging and longer shift. So I was mentally really exhausted. I felt that couldn’t do it. I felt terrible and stupid. I was really disappointed at myself and thought why on earth I had to put myself again in this kind of situation? I was so comfortable in my last position when I knew what to do. But I was very bored already to be “just” cabin attendant. And I wanted more, I wanted more challenges and to push my boundaries.So I realized that I needed to recover from all the stress I have. I needed to go through my anxiety and why I made it so difficult for myself that I couldn’t face my fears. I already know what to do at my work, it’s not something completely new, it’s just more responsibility and confidence. I needed that training. I needed that new position to change my attitude and to get out of my comfort zone. But boy it was hard.
I realized that no one is excellent in the beginning. You learn to be excellent. The journey is the most important, the journey makes you become really good at what you do. If you want to be good at something, you can’t miss the journey. No matter how difficult the journey is, you just need to go through it.
It’s good to challenge yourself from time to time. It makes your life more exciting. Even though the challenges or changes are not always nice or they feel uncomfortable, but later you realize how important it is sometimes to make changes in your life so you can feel better and maybe you find some new skills about yourself that you didn’t know exist. There’s so much to learn in this world. Don’t miss the opportunity to face your fears and go through the challenges you need to, you never know how good things there are waiting for you. Your life begins when you come out of your comfort zone.
So what did I do to get relaxed and being able to go work again? I realized that I can’t escape. I just needed to calm down and understand that I will make mistakes, I’m not excellent yet, but I accept it. I asked myself what would be the best thing that can happen and all of a sudden the fear disappeared. It took me some time to adjust to my new role but after every shift, I tapped myself to my shoulder and was so proud of myself how I survived.
One day I want to be an excellent chief and I want everyone who steps to the airplane to feel that they are safe with me and them to feel that I know what to do if something odd happens during the flight. I want everyone to feel special when I serve them on the airplane so they can have a great experience from our company. Because I really care about my job and I know that attitude changes everything. It’s only you who make the changes in your life. So don’t be afraid, face your fears!
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