The magic of giving

The nature gives you if you care
about it.

When you give, you shall receive. Have you heard of this? But what does it mean? Let me tell you how does it work.

When I was a child, I learned to play “My heart will go on” from Titanic movie (or actually from Celine Dion). I remember that I was so proud of my new skill and wanted to play the song with my cousins. One of my cousins wanted to learn to play that song too but I didn’t want to teach him that. I thought that then I wouldn’t be special anymore with my new skill. He got mad at me and his mom (my aunt) told me that it wasn’t very nice of me not to teach him that song and it would make him very happy if he knew how to play it. I wasn’t very convinced but I taught him anyway.

I have had a similar kind of situations in my life many times after that. I have known something cool and wanted people to see how special skills I have and admire me because of that. I have had a hard time passing my knowledge to other people. I have realized that words of affirmation are something that is my love language.
Learn more about love languages from Gary Chapman “The five love languages” (also in Finnish). That book really opened my eyes and got to understand myself better.

Very often the best teachers are the ones who know the most and knows how to teach others. I admire people who share their knowledge and I think that they are even more special when they pass the information. I admire my co-workers who are instructors and they know so much about airplanes and aviation itself. It’s so valuable to get the information from them and when I work with some of our instructors I take all the advantage of their knowledge because I want to know more.

I always wanted to be the person who knows so much about something and has that “wise hat” on. If you know what I mean. Earlier I thought that if I share my knowledge with someone then I loose something and the other person takes it from me and gets all the credits. Now I have realized that sharing your knowledge is a gift for yourself and for the person you share it with. I have practiced it a lot.

I have realized that with my knowledge I can calm people down in the airplane (there are a lot of people who are afraid of flying), I can teach my kids how to behave and have good manners, I can make people around me feel healthy and enjoy their company even more and the list goes on. With all the knowledge I have, I can do so many things to other people and they appreciate me because I shared something with them. It really is a gift.

Like I mentioned my love language is words of affirmation and I love when people give me compliments. Everyone likes it but some people have a harder time to accept compliments. When I compare for example Finns and Americans, there’s a huge difference in how people compliment each other and how they accept the compliments.

I have learned so much from my husband how to compliment people and I think that has opened so many doors for me. I remember when I first met my husband he gave me compliments all the time and that felt so nice. I wasn’t used to that because usually Finns are more shy to give compliments to each other. He still compliments me every day many times and I have learned to do the same. It really feels good to give compliments. I have taught my daughters it too and already see good results. My three-year-old goes to the mirror and says to herself how cute she is and how she loves herself, it really is rewarding. She’s also giving me compliments when I have cooked something and she loves hearing that I appreciated her compliment. And my 1,5 year old also goes to the mirror and kisses her reflection and says “ihana” (lovely).

One time I decided to challenge myself. I started to compliment people at work. My customers and my colleagues. I wanted to see what happens. The reactions have been very different. Some people haven’t even realized that I have complimented them so I had to say many times different nice things to them but every time I felt that they really didn’t care. Some people instead have made me feel funny because when I have said how well they have handled some situation, their response has been “of course, that’s my job” or ”I just used common sense”. It had made me feel that the compliment was wasted. Some people instead have really felt appreciated when I have said something nice and that is the best feeling for me too.

The most adorable thing when
your child copies you and wants to be
like you ❤

So I did that some time and felt kind of empty because no one said anything nice to me. Okay, I know I live in Finland where people are shy to say nice things to each other but still, I felt that it would be nice to hear that I’ve done good work.

When one day there was a person who was afraid of flying and I went to talk to her right after I noticed that her eyes were big and she looked scared. I talked to her for a while and convinced that she’s safe and there’s nothing to be afraid of. I talked to her a few times during the one hour flight and I could see that she was relieved and got more relaxed. She kept saying thank you to me and it felt good. After she left she had told my colleague to tell me a big thank you. Then I felt really good, I knew that after giving so much I received something, I got a compliment.

Then I realized that it is about everything when you give money to charity or people who really need it, it will come back to you even bigger. And when you help someone with something, there are people to help you next time you need help. And when you give a ride to someone, you’ll get a ride later too, without asking. That’s how the world works.

Challenge yourself, first with your family members and then with your co-workers and friends and later with strangers. Start by saying something that you like what they’re wearing, or how much you appreciate something they said to you. Words and acts do matter, just try and you’ll be amazed! When you give, you shall receive.

Free cake in some random cafe in Seattle.
Sometimes you receive unexpected things.