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| Kids know how to enjoy the simple things, they have fun even with a cardboard box! |
We say in Finland that Finns are very good at complaining. We complain about the weather, the neighbors, our jobs, our financial situation, the government decisions, and the list goes on.
Married to a foreigner I’ve got so much more perspective of all that. When I first met with my husband, he was so happy and full of joy. When he entered to a room he made everyone smile with his big white American smile. That was one of the first things why I fell in love with him. I’ve always liked smiling but after getting to know him, I started to smile even more, because it’s contagious.
When we started dating my husband was very confused about why I was complaining
My husband couldn’t understand why I complain so much when the government is pampering us so much. Many of us don’t realize that we live here like in a bubble. The government gives us money when we study, when we’re on maternity leave (which is 9 months!) when we are unemployed, or on a sick leave, or not able to work because of some sickness. And when I gave birth to my second child we got to stay in a hotel after the delivery with the baby and nurses around us and it costed us only little over 200 € the whole thing, giving birth, food and the hotel! My husband was amazed, since giving birth in the USA is really expensive. We also get free “baby package” full of clothes and other things for the baby or money worth of the box (which is actually less than the box has clothes). That’s just to name few benefits we get as Finns.
We get money for so many things from our government but we still complain because it’s not enough. Seriously, how many countries have as good system as we have here in Finland? We get 5 weeks' vacation yearly and our schools all the way to the university are free of charge. Yes, there are lots of things that could be better but having a little appreciation wouldn’t be bad.
So we have came to a conclusion with my husband that the more there are things that we don’t need to work for, the more we complain and the worse things are the happier people are in general and you get to appreciate the small things. He was also very surprised at how we are so independent in Finland that no one really asks help from their neighbors or even friends or family and in the USA, everyone helps each other. I said that it’s embarrassing for us Finns to ask help because we get almost everything from the government and if we are not doing ok after that, it’s our own business to survive. And the funniest thing is that Finns love to help each other and even offers help but people here mostly are too prideful to ask help when they need it.
So it has been a very long and good school for me to learn out if this habit. I started not to complain at work and I feel better doing my work. I also stopped judging people’s behavior and that made me feel so light and a big burden from my chest disappeared. I feel so much better when instead of saying or thinking about something bad I say or think something good.
Again the kids are great teachers to learn positivity. They get excited about so small things and they never complain if they don’t see others examples of complaining. I have tried to avoid complaining when they’re around me. Instead of complaining I try to see the good things about everything and it really works for my 3-year old. She gets excited so easily if I just encourage her to get excited. When we go to the daycare, there’s a big tree on the way which has Christmas lights and it’s really pretty. Now every morning when we go to the daycare, my 3-year old notices the tree and says how beautiful it is even she sees it everyday. That makes me happy.
Now my husband has been living in Finland for over 5 years and he has adapted the Finnish habits too well. Sometimes I need to remind him of his American background and stop acting like a Finn 😄. Then he gives me his big American smile and he’s back ☺️.
Learning from other cultures is very powerful and refreshing. I’m always excited to meet people from different countries and learn the positive aspects of them. I have realized how much good there is and how well things are in my life. After living in some other country you often realize how good country we’re living in but you don’t necessarily need that kind of wake-up call, you just need to look around and realize how small things can make a difference when you start thinking positively about everything instead of complaining. Try and you’ll see the difference in you and people around you.
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| My kids have taught me to be creative 😄 |
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